Whenever I read the words “The Rocky Horror Show”, I am swept into a time warp back to the fan screening I attended in 2005. Most of the audience for that screening rocked up fully equipped with suspenders, feather boas, extravagant lipstick, and a cherished selection of deliberately unfunny heckler’s lines to deploy at key moments in the movie.
Have you not seen the Rocky Horror Show? It’s a wildly camp musical and B-movie homage for stage and screen, in which two homely, heteronormative Americans seek shelter in a castle run by Tim Curry’s high-kicking mad scientist Dr Frank-N-Furter. I can’t speak for how well it has aged, but it was a hit work of sexual counterculture in the 1970s, and is absolutely Curry’s finest hour outside of Command And Conquer.
Anyway, the key thing, the important thing is: during the movie, there’s a bit where the castle takes off and flies away. During the 2005 screening, the crowd all shouted “it’s just a model!” at this point. I responded “shhhh!”, and the hot girl sitting behind me sighed and said “tssk” and flicked me gently on the back of the head, much as you’d reprove a cat that is eyeing up your lunch. But here’s the thing, lost lady of my youth: I wasn’t actually trying to shush people! I was doing some clever cross-media humour!
You see, there’s a bit in Monty Python And The Holy Grail when King Arthur reaches Camelot, and somebody says “It’s just a model” and is shushed by the other knights. That’s what I was referencing, bygone attractive woman! I wasn’t just trying to silence the Rocky Horror fans. The flying castle scene is right at the end of the dang movie – why would I have waited that long to intervene? Please, forgotten damsel with minimal respect for my personal space – please acknowledge that I am not a Brad or Janet. I am part of the clique. Please, if you’re reading this, leave a comment and belatedly accept my adroit mingling of cues. That exchange has poisoned my soul for years.
Oh hey! I’ve just noticed that Rocky Horror Picture Show is getting another video game adaptation. It’s being made by FreakZone Games, a posse of retroheads whose works include the well-regarded Spectacular Sparky and Manos: The Hands Of Fate. I originally wrote this post in my mood journal, but now I can publish it and profit from my long-petrified feelings of shame and injustice. Here’s the trailer…
“Experience the strange journey of Brad and Janet like never before in this wild and wacky retro platform game adaptation of Richard O’Brien’s legendary rock’n’roll musical,” reads the blurb. “Jump to the left and dodge to the right in classic platforming action, along to 8-bit chiptune renditions of Rocky Horror’s legendary songs.” There’s no store page yet that I can find. Will it have a flying castle scene? Will I ever be free of my sense of low-key humiliation and regret? You will learn the answer to at least one of these questions when the game releases, later this month. Alternatively, dig out your Speccy and fire up the previous 1980s adaptation.
